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the train stops at penn and i'm looking around for my juul, under the seats, turn on my phone light, a jewish woman sitting across from me watches to judge momentarily before i'm the last one on there. an attendant begins his duties and i don't bother anymore, take the escalator without nicotine to the newly renovated moynihan hall where a giant clock tells the time to no one except two soldiers and sleeping homeless. i walk towards the ACE while avoiding the soldiers who become interested in my behavior but when i acknowledged their interest in me they just turned away. good to know that even if i was a terrorist, no one could manage holding eye contact with me long enough to stop me.

when i get to the turnstile, there's no one at the ticketbooth so obviously i jumped the thing and waited for the train next to some lady who did not feel comfortable with me being near her and walked further down the platform. mostly i was surprised and interested by it since i did not notice until after the fact. how often does it happen, i wonder, people's opinion of you changing and you don't even know who they are, how often, everyday?

the E arrives but the train conductor tells me that it's not actually taking the E, and i better catch the bus upstairs. "i'm good with that, thanks," i tell him, since it was only a 20 min walk anyway. first thing i do when i reach surface is go towards the nearest smoke shop. "yo, yo, yo, let me talk to you." "i don't have any money" "i don't want your money, what the fuck?" "oh yeah, man? i still don't have any money so how about that?" i say before walking into the smoke shop, but this dude actually follows me inside. 

"listen motherfucker, you gotta do me something, alright? you gotta help me man, look at my fucking shoes, dog. look at them! i'm homeless, i need shoes." the shop's management, all bangladeshi, are freaking out. "get out, you fool! get out!" "do not give this man a dime, he comes in here asking all the time." i'm like, "i don't think they sell shoes here, my dude." "just give me 10 dollars or something." "i have no money, man." "i see you about to buy some shit!" i show him my wallet which is totally empty except my debit card encrusted with ketamine residue. "credit cards, man," that's all i can think to say. "then buy me some shit then motherfucker!" "do not give this man a penny, he will never leave." "he's here all the time, sir, do not give him anything."

i'm like, "man, what do you want?" he starts looking around the place, "like a gatorade or something." "pick your flavor." "fuck gatorade," he says, "give me a 4loko, i just need it, i need to think straight." "they don't sell 4loko here." "i know they do." 'no," the cashier says, "we don't." "then a gatorade, and fuck it one of them e-cigarette shits." the man leaves the store to allow me to make my purchase and as the cashier rings out the man's items he tells me. "it's not good, he's not a good man." "right, right. i guess i'm enabling him tonight." the cashier gives me a deal on a few things and when i go out i see the dude harassing some new people. "hey," i go, "check it out." i hand him the items. "ah shit what about the e-cig, oh wait, oh shit, fuck yes. yo, so can i ask you one more thing?" i'm like, "what, dude?" he goes, "mmmmm," and starts to sing, "la la la la, hey ohhh ohhh, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmm mmmmmmmm"