May 2
alarm I don't remember ever setting goes off around 3:30PM everyday and plays notably quiet, melancholy piano instrumental
while high today, alarm goes off per usual & I begin to worry that maybe like, somehow it's a sign of another world/like the matrix/my mind attempting to wake myself from coma
calm down thinking about how it could change whenever, but just don't feel like it right now
May 12
Why can’t I be mean w/o being a man
May 6
wave at landlord, who waves too closing his door after his bf steps inside
these people I live with, chose me to live with/to be w me
i get my chia i think about my steps
this happy comes always when u dont know why
May 11
god loves me its true
sometimes i think i am god
May 12
Rich ppl don’t exist
May 4
today I found love under a rock
currently interested in stars
poetry gets me into trouble
April 30
☐ Clean room
☐ Write
☐ Buy ticket
☐ Pack
☐ 8pm - reading
☐ Jayinee party
☐ Sarah party
☑ Make key copies
☑ Buy blanket
☑ Get check?
May 6
Theory: cuddling, the calm, womb-like feeling, bc FOV on SOs chest/shoulder/head/toes of their bodies contours “trick” POV to looking at farm/ expansive vista/sky & cloud
March 17
Noticing the sun, thoughts go,
March 2
Aimless life leading somewhere
March 9
Fireflies spark air over shubbery
Walking around surrounding residential area
Dec 26
surprised by myself.
Dec 15
I wish relaxation was something I could ingest.
Jan 8
"You're sad," she says.
"Maybe."
"Don't be sad."
"I don't think I know how."
"Like this," she makes a funny face.
Sep 14
I answer the phone
hello
hi
pause
hello
Sep 13
you can do it, you can do it, and don't let anyone tell you whatever is dumb
Sep 4
At the park, the far away people seemakm. , like miniature toys. 1
They 1qqqqq1
Nov 30
"You need god in your life."
"I need a job.”
"God can help you get one."
"I'd rather just not need a job."
Nov 11
I want to die so bad even though life is so great.
Life is so great and I want to die so bad.
I want to die so bad even though life is so great.
I love life so much, I just to want to die.
July 29
I wake up to the singing of Kiwi's text.
"Sunshine," she writes
"☀🌈⛅"
an emoji from Kiwi
I remember talking on the phone
Aug 27
I'm so happy ☺
I didn't get to do anything today
I wish this was everyday
I don't even care what people think
It seems dumb that things happen
Change feels like a waste of time
idk, follow your heart lmao
Laughing so hard
I email paul an image of bread
Walking around the neighborhood,
Aug 25
So this is it
I've resorted to writing poetry
Where did it go wrong
Ugh in love what terrible stuff
Aug 17
Can't believe I used to be me.
I was so different before now.
It's like I keep forgetting something.
It kind of feels like to be me accepting all the time
July 28
I hate this
We're just trying too hard
Jun 16
Flying over Salt Lake City, wonder if the large, seemingly shrinking lake nearby is Salt Lake, Lake Salt, or Salt Lake City Lake
feels uncontrollable more variations of lake, salt, and city, eventually mixing together whatever Spanish I know, e.g. Lake de Salt City
July 11
I feel like I could be naked forever
Apr 30
From landscape to eating ice cream on curb
Jan 26
Lisa walks quikly
Theo jayqalls to meet het
The said somethijg offense
She says to not touch her
Theo immediately starts to cry
May 18th
When's the last time you bought something from someone looking like this?
Feb 14
This is my life, now imagine all the ways it could go wrong because it does
Jan 26
Have a character express concern over theos drug use
Jan 25
My cat wakes me up by knocking over a glass from the desk, shattering it.
He jumps down and starts to pur while rubbing his body against the shards.
I say "omg Smirnoff" and pick him up and start to clean up the glass but I cut myself and then my landlord knocks on my door.
"Theo."
"Yes?"
"Did you eat spaghetti last night."
"Yes, I did."
"What is this?"
He's holding a jar of ragu.
"That looks like Spaghetti sauce."
"You can not just throw this away you know. You need to recycle this."
"Oh, I just assumed it was glass so..."
"You recycle glass."
"Oh, I didn't know that."
"In ur email when u first moved here u said u care about the environment..."
"Yeah I just forgot about glass"
"r u bleeding?"
"Yes my cat was playing in glass"
Feb 6
☐ How do I act when I’m around you
☐ What were ur first impressions
☐ How do you think I perceive myself
☐ What do you think is the best thing about me
☐ What do you think is wrong w me
☐ What are your thoughts on my intellect
☐ What should I do differently
June 16
Feeling weight shift in the airplane, tapping the small screen on back of chair in front of me for flight data, taking note of the altitude and wondering if screen auto-updated or required me to manually refresh
After attempting to refresh and not getting any updates, rest my hand over mouth in presidential manner,
staring intently for new info when woman beside me laughs at the movie she watches, but I associate her laughter towards me and found me to be hilarious, and we both laugh to ourselves
June 4
facebook sticker of cat saying "I've seen this already"
facebook sticker of wombat w sunglasses saying "how did we become friends"
facebook sticker, dung beetle saying "check out my soundcloud"
May 26
There's something beautiful happening in me, something about how I look or how I am, the things I do makes the people around me happy, it makes me happy. I've never felt more emotionally available in my whole life.
May 21
While throwing up in the subway, the couple in front of me, dressed in sweatpants and hoodies, looked high on benzos. Made me nostalgic of my ex.
May 31
Ppl spinning while talking about their fav places
Feb 27
Drumming and cheers stretch across eighth avenue.
Protestors hold up signs, "BROKEN SYSTEM," "KILLER COPS."
Police officers stand behind street barriers as they're photograph for social media.
"[Something] send those killer cops to jail!"
From the lobby of the New School, I see Laura sketching in her book.
I climb over the barrier and tap on the window pane.
"Laura, I'm here!"
She smiles, moves towards the front door.
"Laura," as the door opens, "I'm here."
"I see that and I'm very proud of you," she says.
"Yeah, I thought I'd take your advice."
"And, is it making you feel a kind of way?"
"Yeah, I really feel like I care!"
Someone throws confetti from a third story window.
Feb 16
Wow, he's flying a kite. He's thinking about if whether or not guess who is thinking about him.
He doesn't know if he and she really get along, but he likes her anyway and he's sure that he knows for sure that he thinks she's, well, okay, and different seeming at least at first glance and that maybe he will like her more later.
She's blowing bubbles on the beach and a sunset. She's feeling differently about him now then she probably felt about him before. She has always said to people like Pete how she has always felt she had trouble remembering exactly how she felt about all the things that have not happened in the present. Who does she think she is, she thinks to herself, and was that me
Later, he climbs through his window.and his house
Feb 20
I'm thinking about whether or not guess who is thinking about me when she, all of a sudden, texts me, out of the blue, just like in the movies, "Any plans for tonight?"
Yes, I believe this might be what the Hollywood executives call a ***, a sudden action presented to carry the plot forward. It's this unpercievable force that shows itself to you when you're most ready.
Lets breathe for a moment, and take account of our surroundings. Plans? Why would I have plans? What day is it? It must be friday why else would Annie ask. That means, for those of you unfamiliar with my lifestyle, ive spent the last 4 days in my dark, windowless room, getting up only to defecate and feed my cat. I stay in this hybrid-meditative state for days on end.
Dec 20
standing, smiling, breathing, agreeing to this level of intimacy, feeling content re relationship, no need to proceed, if even possible, or even occurred to us
Dec 17
I start off, first of all, by apologizing not only for inviting him to the show but for being his friend at all, for us even liking each other, I'm sorry for just having similar interests with Trevor, and if I could somehow let him have all of these interests by sacrificing mine, I would in a heart beat. I tell him, that I obviously did not know his exgirlfriend would be at the show, if I even knew he ever had a romantic relationship with someone, I would have made sure to check every music venue for Trevor's exes before inviting him. In fact, it makes sense to me now that obviously you would have similar interests with your exgirlfriend so of course it would be more likely that she attend shows that befall under our set of interests, and that when inviting you to something that interests you I should be even more aware to look for any exgirlfroends in the crowd
Nov 5
oh my god, i swear to god he slammed the door on me! I was like what the fuck, i dont even know what that was all about
Nov 2
Theo talks on a boat with tod
Theo smokes weed
Tod tells a girl friend at a party he has a crush on theo
"Thats okay!"
They take a selfie together smoking weed
Theo wishes they had two bluntz. For the photo
Someone at a party shows tod pictures of dead people
Tod is emotionally unphased.
Oct 12
A persons plane emergency stops when someone on board continued to shout bomb over and over
Oct 2
I combust and die
My death causes two facebook friends grief, one finds themselves seeking more of a connection when the other focuses on his phone
The one seeking con. is a they/them and puts a dress on in the summer time
The othrt os typing "reality" on facebook
Sep 9
it feels very healthy to kind of agree that certain things dont make sense, and to stop putting effort in believing or understanding them
Aug 22
We are just things that aren’t really there yet
Aug 20
Todd, talks about internet, america, takes adderall at party, fisherman comparison and home and studio comparison, takes shrooms and molly and flirts and tries to get in touch w drug dealer
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