March 28, 2020

in my backyard, i imagine, is a micron particle atop the dew. an everyday hello could never bother something of god’s creating like this, but perhaps you, our thinking is enough to perturb it

"hi, how are you?" "mom, chilling. sup?" "well, you know we've been watching the news, and everything." "cool. what’s it saying?" "well, anyone who's been in new york city needs to quarantine, they say." "heard." "yeah, so." i laugh. "whatever you want, mom. i don't have to come." "are you sure?" "you were the one who wanted to pick me up." "i know, but if we go to new york and get sick, then people will, for example: your father, they'll tell him not to go to work." "yeah, i can just stay." "are you sure, theo? i feel so bad." "it's chill. i was going to tell you on the ride home, so i’ll just tell you now, i’m moving to minnesota i guess.” “for how long?” “i don’t know, not long, hopefully.” "talk to your father." "okay." "theo." "hey dad." "you know what they're saying?" "what are they saying?" "they're saying anyone can die from this disease, can you believe that?" "i don’t believe it." "they're shutting everything down, they don't give a fuck." "they’re doing whatever they want," i say. "it's no big deal you're not coming for your brother's birthday," my dad says. "just let him know for me, alright?" "it's no problem, we have the whole world here, the whole time." "i’m not doing anything and neither are you. just stay safe." "i won't get sick, brother, son." "alright, love you dad."

2020 covered in earth tone fabrics vaping synthetic nicotine on my rooftop in brooklyn, ny. heard something like, "this is wild shit," re this evening pm, dust and dander at 30% with rain set to begin in 17 mins. expect cloudy weather from saturday afternoon to sunday evening, followed by a clear night — mars stationary and visible through the crescent moon.

“we are experiencing a high volume of calls. we apologize for the inconvenience. please continue to hold for the next available agent. thank you. please remember in order to qualify for unemployment insurance benefits you must be available to work and ready, willing, and able to seek and accept suitable work. our division of employment and workforce solutions offices can help you find a new job. visit one of these offices to find out what jobs are available in your line of work. these offices also offer workshops on various jobsearch skills including resume writing.” 1 WEEK LATER. “hi, my name is craig. can i start with your social security number?” “uh, uh, 120-01-2420.” “your four digit pin number.” “6969.” “and you are filing for claims because of the,..” he didn’t want to say. “yes, sir. absolutely. and i began this claim online and it instructed me to call, sir.” “are you able and willing to work?” “yes, i am.” “who’s your employer?” “uhm, well it’s stay cool, llc, is uh, who signs my checks.” “stay cool. when’s the last time you worked for stay cool?” “march 11th.” “when was your first day working for stay cool?” “uhm, june 2017. i don’t know, june 19, 2017.” “your employer’s number?” “let me google it, one second…” “alright, theofan, you’re unemployed.” “thank you, and what’s your name?” “my name is craig.” “thank you so much, craig.” “you can file your claim for this week tomorrow, and for next week on sunday. i’m now going to direct you to a message, and it’s going to take you about two minutes to go through, is there anything you need from me, theo?” “no, craig. that’ll be all.” “alright, take care.” “bye-bye.”

seeding an obscure torrent in a tie dye wolf shirt, freebasing 3meopcp from a crack pipe in the clutch while my girlfriend innocently showers, i know it's wrong but it feels so okay, brandon nudges my ankle, he wants to go outside so i turn the doorknob and the dude walks out — god bless him. there comes an end to a life, looking at the tomato sprout under my LED lights, yet somehow this does not affect the whole